I do something I'm not supposed to...shyeahh, BIG news, right? *lol* Something that, over time, I started to feel more jusitification and less shame. I've done it so much, I've actually become a pro at it...or, become closer TO one...
...I smuggle stuff into movie theaters *lol*. What, you thought it might've had something to do with anarchism? I can't tell you about any of that, THAT'S classified *lol* Telling you would mean involving you, and trust me you don't want to be traced to any of that *lol*
It's gotten to the point where I feel it's OK (and NO, you WON'T find any picnic baskets under my hoodie *lol*...You won't find me "keistering" anything in either *lmao*). I mean, hey, what can you do when you're hungry but all you're restricted to choose from is 1) unappetizingly greasy, salty artificial crap ...OR... 2) ridiculously overpriced unappetizing, greasy, salty artificial crap??? Hell, EVERYTHING edible or potable for sale at a theater is ridiculously overpriced. Excuse me? 4 bucks for a 16 oz bottle of water? 4 bucks? That's not water, THAT'S DIAMOND JUICE!!! *lol* At least put some gold flakes on the bottom, make it feel more like I'm getting my money's worth *lol*
Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm about to take a power bar out of my secret jacket pocket and sneak a can of sugar-free energy drink out from between my cleavage, the show's about to start! *lmao*
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Just dunk me in coffee & call it a day...
Things are getting better. I'm getting the hang of things. Tough to keep up, though. And MAN does this wipe me out! By the time I'm done, I'm coated in flour, sugar & chocolate...I feel like a frikkin' donut *lol* I'm surrounded by flour, butter & sugar alllllllll day long...echhh...Vegetables sure are a sight for sore eyes *lol*...Or water that DOESN'T come from a faucet! I NEVER thought I'd get sick of chocolate! Never! *lol* People keep making assumptions that since I'm surrounded by sweets that I have a hard time keeping myself from picking at them. To tell you the truth, the sweet I DO have a hard time keeping myself from picking at is the fresh fruit *lol* The fruit that's not quite old, but is too ripe for presentation, I sneak some in *lol* Hey, it was about to go in the trash anyway *lol* And, as a bonus, every burp sends me on a 2 second tropical vacation *lmao*
My hands are all cut up. Half my fingers are bandaged right now...I mean, some of my fingers are bandaged, I don't mean I have half-fingers *lol*. I'm typing to you on stumps right now *lmao*...Well, apparently band-aid-covered fingers ARE about as clumsy to type with *lol*. Aw hell, YOU know what I mean...I'm tired...Shit, what day is it? I lost track, like, 3 daylights ago *lmao* Ohhh, the weekend just passed, huh? ...No WONDER it was so goddamned BUSY these past couple days *lol* Damn! I missed my Saturday morning Ninja Turtles *lol* 8.P Unfortunately though, it looks like the restaurant is getting a change of ownership, which not only means I'm probably not going to get the job, it means the EXISTING staff might lose THEIR jobs. *sigh* It was nice while it lasted I guess. Back to retail hell :.(
My hands are all cut up. Half my fingers are bandaged right now...I mean, some of my fingers are bandaged, I don't mean I have half-fingers *lol*. I'm typing to you on stumps right now *lmao*...Well, apparently band-aid-covered fingers ARE about as clumsy to type with *lol*. Aw hell, YOU know what I mean...I'm tired...Shit, what day is it? I lost track, like, 3 daylights ago *lmao* Ohhh, the weekend just passed, huh? ...No WONDER it was so goddamned BUSY these past couple days *lol* Damn! I missed my Saturday morning Ninja Turtles *lol* 8.P Unfortunately though, it looks like the restaurant is getting a change of ownership, which not only means I'm probably not going to get the job, it means the EXISTING staff might lose THEIR jobs. *sigh* It was nice while it lasted I guess. Back to retail hell :.(
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Oh sheet(cake)!!!
The only time in life when the term "getting laid" is a BAD thing is when you add the word "OFF". That's what happened to me. Yeah, it was bad...cuz, there goes my money. If I run out of money, I'll wind up "outdoors" and I DON'T mean camping!!!But, in some ways it was good. I mean, I was meaning to take the next ticket out of there anyways. I never meant to work there that long, and I was already burned out. My mind would just shift into auto-pilot after awhile and sometimes I would catch myself daydreaming and snap out of it only to realize I was halfway done with my assignment. I was so engrossed in thought, I wasn't even aware of where I was or what I was doing during that time, I was just moving my body mindlessly like an automaton. Yeah, that's a DEFINITE sign it's time to go! *lol* Another indicator that it was time was the new rule that we were now supposed to be helpful to customers! What??? Working WITHOUT having to put up with idiot-ass customers was a reason, if not THE reason I even applied for that job! *lol* That job sent me to several stores a month, so I would only typically know where the bathroom, breakroom & exits are, how the fuck should I know where the peanut butter is? How am I EXPECTED to know if I won't see the place again for weeks? Chances are, you stupid fucktard, you 1) walked RIGHT PAST IT en route to asking ME where the hell it is, or 2) right while you're asking me, it was an arms length from right in front of your ugly, inbred, mouth-breathing face all along. Maybe it would help if you put your fucking cell phone down and LOOK AT THE SHELVES instead of everywhere else like the floor, ceiling and the phone keypad, knucklehead. If you customers are TOO EFFING STUPID to REALIZE that we wore NO uniforms, wore NO name tag or displayed any OTHER indication that we are store employees, yet you STILL mistake us for store employees, then sadly, the kind of "help" you customers REALLY need CAN'T BE FOUND IN ANY STORE (o_O)
Apparently, according to the new rule, answering customers' questions with "I don't work here" is interpreted as offensive and/or rude. I can't determine which I lack fluency in: diplomacy or speaking moron? I never saw it as "rude" OR "offensive". I saw it as a favor: 1) I'm telling them I can't help them because I genuinely don't know, 2) it's admitting I'm of no use to them if my guess is just as good as theirs, and 3)it's a recommendation for them to find someone who CAN help them because, by asking me, they're wasting BOTH our time. My former co-workers are such sellouts. They got intimidated by this new rule and now drop whatever the were doing whenever they're approached by a mental-midget...uhrrr...I mean, CUSTOMER, with a question. Whether they KNOW the answer to their question or NOT! If they DON'T know, they stop & leave their work behind to walk around the store with the customer until they find whatever it is that's being looked for. One wandering know-nothing idiot are now TWO wandering, know-nothing idiots. When you put two empty-heads together, all you get is a hollow noise! All this really did in the end is make the team fall behind, leaving us to finish later, pushing back the time to go home even further, and 75% of the time the customer usually wound up having to go to a STORE employee to ask ANYWAY. Excuse me, WHO is this helping??? Am I missing something???
Customers sure are a curiously dumb creature. And getting dumber by the second. I have no patience for them at all. I am as "in my element" in retail as a fish in the sand. It's really best that someone ELSE deal with thier douchebaggery. Which is why I'm glad I came upon an opportunity for a new job that has nothing to do with dealing with them anymore. I'm happy if I can punch in at a place where I can work happily AWAY from having to see or speak to (or listen to) them. Even better, have someone ELSE deal with them *lol*. AND, even better than THAT, it's something I actually LIKE doing...that's nice for a change *lol*. I'm at a fancy French restaurant by the beach getting trained to be a pastry chef!!!
I NEVER imagined that would happen to me! *lol* I'm not hired yet though, and there's no guarantee I will, as I have zero experience doing this professionally...Domestically (for fam & friends)? YES, TONS of experience!Professionally? Nada! *lol* BUT...Shit, even if I don't get this, I'm getting some experience that'll help get me in somewhere else... AND at least I could say I once worked as a pastry chef at a fancy French restaurant on the beach, who gets the chance to be able to claim THAT? (though my friends know I'm NOT the bragging type, in fact I'm anything BUT! *lol*)AND, this is my possible break at forever breaking "the experience curse". "The experience curse" is the eternal catch-22, where you're left stuck having to stick with a job you know, whether you want to keep doing it or not, and your best chance at getting taken seriously is by applying for jobs you have experience for (my curse is anything in retail). But how can I get experience if I don't get a chance? How can I get a chance if I don't have experience? How can I get experience if I don't get a chance? Ad infinitum....
AND, this is excellent proof that it's NEVER about WHAT you know, it's about WHO you know! I've said it a million times, people! I NEVER would've had this chance without the right connection, and there have been many jobs in the past that I knew I was perfect for, only to get passed over for (what I later found out was) a COMPLETE ingrate...BUT...he was a complete ingrate who DID happen to "know somebody"...
Apparently, according to the new rule, answering customers' questions with "I don't work here" is interpreted as offensive and/or rude. I can't determine which I lack fluency in: diplomacy or speaking moron? I never saw it as "rude" OR "offensive". I saw it as a favor: 1) I'm telling them I can't help them because I genuinely don't know, 2) it's admitting I'm of no use to them if my guess is just as good as theirs, and 3)it's a recommendation for them to find someone who CAN help them because, by asking me, they're wasting BOTH our time. My former co-workers are such sellouts. They got intimidated by this new rule and now drop whatever the were doing whenever they're approached by a mental-midget...uhrrr...I mean, CUSTOMER, with a question. Whether they KNOW the answer to their question or NOT! If they DON'T know, they stop & leave their work behind to walk around the store with the customer until they find whatever it is that's being looked for. One wandering know-nothing idiot are now TWO wandering, know-nothing idiots. When you put two empty-heads together, all you get is a hollow noise! All this really did in the end is make the team fall behind, leaving us to finish later, pushing back the time to go home even further, and 75% of the time the customer usually wound up having to go to a STORE employee to ask ANYWAY. Excuse me, WHO is this helping??? Am I missing something???
Customers sure are a curiously dumb creature. And getting dumber by the second. I have no patience for them at all. I am as "in my element" in retail as a fish in the sand. It's really best that someone ELSE deal with thier douchebaggery. Which is why I'm glad I came upon an opportunity for a new job that has nothing to do with dealing with them anymore. I'm happy if I can punch in at a place where I can work happily AWAY from having to see or speak to (or listen to) them. Even better, have someone ELSE deal with them *lol*. AND, even better than THAT, it's something I actually LIKE doing...that's nice for a change *lol*. I'm at a fancy French restaurant by the beach getting trained to be a pastry chef!!!
I NEVER imagined that would happen to me! *lol* I'm not hired yet though, and there's no guarantee I will, as I have zero experience doing this professionally...Domestically (for fam & friends)? YES, TONS of experience!Professionally? Nada! *lol* BUT...Shit, even if I don't get this, I'm getting some experience that'll help get me in somewhere else... AND at least I could say I once worked as a pastry chef at a fancy French restaurant on the beach, who gets the chance to be able to claim THAT? (though my friends know I'm NOT the bragging type, in fact I'm anything BUT! *lol*)AND, this is my possible break at forever breaking "the experience curse". "The experience curse" is the eternal catch-22, where you're left stuck having to stick with a job you know, whether you want to keep doing it or not, and your best chance at getting taken seriously is by applying for jobs you have experience for (my curse is anything in retail). But how can I get experience if I don't get a chance? How can I get a chance if I don't have experience? How can I get experience if I don't get a chance? Ad infinitum....
AND, this is excellent proof that it's NEVER about WHAT you know, it's about WHO you know! I've said it a million times, people! I NEVER would've had this chance without the right connection, and there have been many jobs in the past that I knew I was perfect for, only to get passed over for (what I later found out was) a COMPLETE ingrate...BUT...he was a complete ingrate who DID happen to "know somebody"...
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