It's amazing to me how some people not only believe in spanking a child is not only good, but their parental duty...and that not doing it is in some way "spoiling" the child, most likely bringing up the old biblical scripture "spare the rod, spoil the child". Didn't the bible also advocate living sacrifices? And...if humanity really originated from Adam and Eve, didn't someone, at some point in time, wind up banging their sister? (think about it *lol*) So how does hitting your child ever become okay? It doesn't matter if it's a belt, an openhanded slap or a backfist, it's all the same in my eyes. True, we're living in the midst of a douchebag epidemic as a result of overindulgent parents who under-discipline their kids if at all ( http://slyoyster.com/cheap-thrills/2010/are-you-raising-a-douchebag/ ), but isn't this behavior a counter-response of harsh strictness? Humans tend to have a stupid habit of replacing one extreme with another...which only makes things just as unbalanced and never solves anything. One example being the 60's, where people became living statements of rebellion against the repression of the white-washed 50's. Both radically different ends of the spectrum, yet neither was better or worse. Overcoddling is no solution to nor can it make up for harsh parenting...Yes, I am childfree...no, I don't know what it's like to be a parent, but I remember what it was like to be a child. I was raised by a family who believed in the old biblical belief of "spare the rod, spoil the child"...there were many times where I experienced this brand of "discipline", to teach me "lessons", and I won't go into detail about all my experiences, but I will say the main lesson I learned about those experiences is how wrong it is and how it should never happen. A child should always feel like their home is the safest place in the world...There were many times where, as much as I passionately loathed school, I dreaded coming home even more. The only place I really felt sanctuary was the bus ride in between. There were many times I would secretly pray the bus would break down or the driver would take a wrong turn because I knew what would be waiting for me at the end of the ride.
I believe the world and life within it is plenty painful and scary exactly AS IT IS, why add to it...especially in the name of "correction"?
Most parents who subscribe to the belief of raising their hand to their own children betters them usually say that "it's using pain as a way to correct their behavior because pain is what they most readily understand.". Perhaps. Pain is very primal, the most direct route, but is it the only one? Didn't humanity at some point develop intelligence and other ways of understanding in all these years? We're not cavepeople anymore. Think about this: raising your hand to your dog or pet for any reason is considered unnacceptable without question. In fact, others would most likely think less of you if you were caught striking an animal. Choking an animal with it's own leash or striking it in the name of behavioral "correction" are now practices largely rejected (and largely illegal) because it's considered unnecessarily barbaric and cruel...particularly now in this day in age where it's been proven that it's possible to shape, correct, even change an animal's behavior using ZERO physical force. Yet...there are some people out there who still believe that raising their hand towards their own child (for ANY reason) is acceptable? Really? That's sad to say...how DOGS can receive better treatment and regard than a child. If a parent doesn't know how to reach a child without going caveman on him, that's a physical testament of incompetent parenting. A baby cries because it doesn't know how to articulate what it wants and it's the only means of communication they know will receive a response. For a parent to use physical pain as a means of correction is an open admission of THEIR lack of tools and knowledge. And it's a testament of the parent's lack of faith in their child's capability to understand anything else but pain as means of effective communication. Maybe someone needs to explain to me the difference between a bully and a parent who uses physical force to "discipline" because I'm not seeing much of one. The main difference might be that parent may have "good intent", but their using the exact same means as the bully they're probably fearing at school, which is probably leading to the bad grades that's GETTING them hit by you in the first place. And...another problem is, if the bible really DOES advocate hitting, it doesn't draw the line on what is or isn't acceptable. Spare the rod...so does that mean use a stick? A broomhandle? A bat? How many strikes are you allowed to make? Are there any rules below the belt? What if that parent uses "discipline" as a channel of their own frustration and (consciously or unconsciously) vents it out on the child...which means the hitting stops once the parent feels appropriately "vented"? How long (and how many hits) would that take? When does one know when to stop (if at all?)? Doesn't that inadvertently make the child a punching bag for the parent's frustration? Some of these questions I have actually asked myself while getting "disciplined". Was I (at times) a brat whose behavior justified their frustrations? I don't deny that *lol* But for them to think that physical pain was the only way to get through to me was a little insulting. Back then, I had a friend who was about to throw away this comic book, but I asked him to let me have it instead. It was a Spiderman mini comic, maybe 10 or so pages. The story began with this kid who pissed off his parents for reasons I don't remember (bad grades?), and his dad was getting ready to knuckle up...Just then, Spiderman was patrolling the city and what caught his eye as he was passing was a man in the window raising his fist to a cowering child. Just then, Spiderman burst through the window and stopped the child from being hit...then proceeded to correct the father's behavior, NOT by kicking HIS butt in return, but by TALKING to him. He spoke to the boy too, saying that hitting one's child is NEVER ok... I read that comic until the pages came apart...So many times, I wished Spiderman would've bust through the window for me, just once :.(
