It's amazing to me how some people not only believe in spanking a child is not only good, but their parental duty...and that not doing it is in some way "spoiling" the child, most likely bringing up the old biblical scripture "spare the rod, spoil the child". Didn't the bible also advocate living sacrifices? And...if humanity really originated from Adam and Eve, didn't someone, at some point in time, wind up banging their sister? (think about it *lol*) So how does hitting your child ever become okay? It doesn't matter if it's a belt, an openhanded slap or a backfist, it's all the same in my eyes. True, we're living in the midst of a douchebag epidemic as a result of overindulgent parents who under-discipline their kids if at all ( http://slyoyster.com/cheap-thrills/2010/are-you-raising-a-douchebag/ ), but isn't this behavior a counter-response of harsh strictness? Humans tend to have a stupid habit of replacing one extreme with another...which only makes things just as unbalanced and never solves anything. One example being the 60's, where people became living statements of rebellion against the repression of the white-washed 50's. Both radically different ends of the spectrum, yet neither was better or worse. Overcoddling is no solution to nor can it make up for harsh parenting...Yes, I am childfree...no, I don't know what it's like to be a parent, but I remember what it was like to be a child. I was raised by a family who believed in the old biblical belief of "spare the rod, spoil the child"...there were many times where I experienced this brand of "discipline", to teach me "lessons", and I won't go into detail about all my experiences, but I will say the main lesson I learned about those experiences is how wrong it is and how it should never happen. A child should always feel like their home is the safest place in the world...There were many times where, as much as I passionately loathed school, I dreaded coming home even more. The only place I really felt sanctuary was the bus ride in between. There were many times I would secretly pray the bus would break down or the driver would take a wrong turn because I knew what would be waiting for me at the end of the ride.
I believe the world and life within it is plenty painful and scary exactly AS IT IS, why add to it...especially in the name of "correction"?
Most parents who subscribe to the belief of raising their hand to their own children betters them usually say that "it's using pain as a way to correct their behavior because pain is what they most readily understand.". Perhaps. Pain is very primal, the most direct route, but is it the only one? Didn't humanity at some point develop intelligence and other ways of understanding in all these years? We're not cavepeople anymore. Think about this: raising your hand to your dog or pet for any reason is considered unnacceptable without question. In fact, others would most likely think less of you if you were caught striking an animal. Choking an animal with it's own leash or striking it in the name of behavioral "correction" are now practices largely rejected (and largely illegal) because it's considered unnecessarily barbaric and cruel...particularly now in this day in age where it's been proven that it's possible to shape, correct, even change an animal's behavior using ZERO physical force. Yet...there are some people out there who still believe that raising their hand towards their own child (for ANY reason) is acceptable? Really? That's sad to say...how DOGS can receive better treatment and regard than a child. If a parent doesn't know how to reach a child without going caveman on him, that's a physical testament of incompetent parenting. A baby cries because it doesn't know how to articulate what it wants and it's the only means of communication they know will receive a response. For a parent to use physical pain as a means of correction is an open admission of THEIR lack of tools and knowledge. And it's a testament of the parent's lack of faith in their child's capability to understand anything else but pain as means of effective communication. Maybe someone needs to explain to me the difference between a bully and a parent who uses physical force to "discipline" because I'm not seeing much of one. The main difference might be that parent may have "good intent", but their using the exact same means as the bully they're probably fearing at school, which is probably leading to the bad grades that's GETTING them hit by you in the first place. And...another problem is, if the bible really DOES advocate hitting, it doesn't draw the line on what is or isn't acceptable. Spare the rod...so does that mean use a stick? A broomhandle? A bat? How many strikes are you allowed to make? Are there any rules below the belt? What if that parent uses "discipline" as a channel of their own frustration and (consciously or unconsciously) vents it out on the child...which means the hitting stops once the parent feels appropriately "vented"? How long (and how many hits) would that take? When does one know when to stop (if at all?)? Doesn't that inadvertently make the child a punching bag for the parent's frustration? Some of these questions I have actually asked myself while getting "disciplined". Was I (at times) a brat whose behavior justified their frustrations? I don't deny that *lol* But for them to think that physical pain was the only way to get through to me was a little insulting. Back then, I had a friend who was about to throw away this comic book, but I asked him to let me have it instead. It was a Spiderman mini comic, maybe 10 or so pages. The story began with this kid who pissed off his parents for reasons I don't remember (bad grades?), and his dad was getting ready to knuckle up...Just then, Spiderman was patrolling the city and what caught his eye as he was passing was a man in the window raising his fist to a cowering child. Just then, Spiderman burst through the window and stopped the child from being hit...then proceeded to correct the father's behavior, NOT by kicking HIS butt in return, but by TALKING to him. He spoke to the boy too, saying that hitting one's child is NEVER ok... I read that comic until the pages came apart...So many times, I wished Spiderman would've bust through the window for me, just once :.(
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Limitless? Or bottomless?
Someone else's blog inspired me to get thinking about this idea. I won't say who, I'm sure they don't want any credit for what I have to say *lol*. It's regarding the film "Limitless"...The the story of it raises the question for some people on whether this fantasy drug would really be a beneficial aid to knocking out the walls of psychological/intellectual limitations, if it were to actually exist.
In the film, the main character takes a fictional drug, NZT, that supposedly allows that person to access 100% of their brain at once, instead of the scientifically proven 10-20% used at any given time. And after implementing the drug, the character's life seems to blast off, accomplishing what most would only dream of in a fraction of the time it would actually take to do...
I've done more than my share of (voluntarily) reading up on psychology for quite a few years, and while I'm no doctor, I believe I have enough understanding of it to be the equivalent of a degree...a really small one, perhaps *lol* :.P
About 9 or 10 years ago, I challened myself to write a master thesis, to see if I could do it...It was on my belief on how base human behavior really is, even today, despite our supposed "evolvement" and "advances"...How humans only THINK they've outgrown the bonds of enslavement by our most base impulses. It says basically went on to say that virtually any human activity, thought or endeavor can be categorized into one of three: food, sex, territory. Pick virtually any aspect of human life, thought or deed, and somewhere underneath you will find the root cause falls under one (or more) of those categories. I wish more could be said about human behavior than being so apish, and if you disagree, feel free to correct me. I wish I still had my thesis...A lot of my stuff went AWOL after my (now FORMER)in-laws moved in, including all my notes from my psychology "studies", most of my artwork from art school...and books...and clothes...and dvd's...cd's...and cookware...oh, don't get me started on that *lol*
People marvel at how the NZT drug could "expand the horizons and abilities" of one's life, how much more one can do or become...
Even after all these years of so called "evolutionary development", humans still think with and are ruled by their limbic brains more than they might realize. All this drug seems to do is just "expand the horizons and abilities" for simply more of the same "food-sex-territory" thinking. Perhaps I'm not eligible to make an opinion on this, since I haven't seen the film, though from what I have read, seen and heard, the film's main character spends all his drug-induced potential pursuing very self-centered endeavors. Very "FST" type thinking *lol* Would usage of this drug truly elevate you to a new level of existence, or is it just knocking out the walls to expand the very floor you're on?
To me, the "limitless" drug just seems like a way to expand on selfish and base thinking. I fail to see how this would be any "advancement" for humanity...most everyone I hear talking about this drug applies it's hypothetical use in ways that serve only themselves and no one else...maybe a "trickle down effect" on others in their life, at best. Does it have the POTENTIAL to serve mankind in a beneficial way? I'd imagine so, having one's brainpower so turbocharged, one might easily solve the worst problems that plague mankind...one may be able to improve more lives and reach more people in a fraction of a day, than be treated as the overwhelming task it is...But...be honest...would you really use it that way if you had the opportunity? Or would you use it exclusively as a vehicle to improving only YOUR life? How much of brain power do you use NOW towards helping other people? Just like the old myth of being "changed" as a result of having more money...Having more money does NOT "change" you, it's merely a tool that allows you the freedom to be more of who you already are. If you were an asshole before money, you now have the freedom to be even more of an asshole with it. If you're a charitable person before money, you'll be free to be even MORE so with more money. If you perceive that person as "changed", then perhaps you didn't know that person as well as you thought you did. That's on YOU, not THEM...
The film raises another thought: The problem humanity always seems to run into in most anything in life: looking OUTSIDE yourself for an answer...looking towards another person to make you feel good, an object, substance or gizmo, a belief outside yourself...relying on external feedback instead of introspection...when you have virtually all the answers already inside you, here we are wasting time looking outward chasing quick fixes, pre-packaged solutions, fantasies, seeking people to trust enough to do the thinking FOR us. When will we learn? Have any of you seen the movie "Formula 51"? That proves my point pretty well... If you haven't seen it, then watch out because I'm giving the ending away... People in THAT film experienced such tremendous highs from the drug "formula 51" that it became pretty dangerous to be seen around...Due to it's high demand, it attracted attention from dangerous people wanting in on the make. In the end, it turns out, it was a PLACEBO. All that drug did was serve as a tool to let down that person's inhibitions just enough to let out what was already inside them. The human brain has a veritable pharmacy of hormones and chemicals already present, yet we rely so heavily on external substances for just about everything...from feeling good to just making it through the day. Imagine how "limitless" our lives could really be if we could access this?
My definition of "limitless" would be the ability to transcend the constraints of ordinary human thinking...something even NZT doesn't seem to accomplish...it just seems to widen the neuropathic channels for more stimulation, more material desires, more greed. Doesn't sound like an "advancement" to me...
In the film, the main character takes a fictional drug, NZT, that supposedly allows that person to access 100% of their brain at once, instead of the scientifically proven 10-20% used at any given time. And after implementing the drug, the character's life seems to blast off, accomplishing what most would only dream of in a fraction of the time it would actually take to do...
I've done more than my share of (voluntarily) reading up on psychology for quite a few years, and while I'm no doctor, I believe I have enough understanding of it to be the equivalent of a degree...a really small one, perhaps *lol* :.P
About 9 or 10 years ago, I challened myself to write a master thesis, to see if I could do it...It was on my belief on how base human behavior really is, even today, despite our supposed "evolvement" and "advances"...How humans only THINK they've outgrown the bonds of enslavement by our most base impulses. It says basically went on to say that virtually any human activity, thought or endeavor can be categorized into one of three: food, sex, territory. Pick virtually any aspect of human life, thought or deed, and somewhere underneath you will find the root cause falls under one (or more) of those categories. I wish more could be said about human behavior than being so apish, and if you disagree, feel free to correct me. I wish I still had my thesis...A lot of my stuff went AWOL after my (now FORMER)in-laws moved in, including all my notes from my psychology "studies", most of my artwork from art school...and books...and clothes...and dvd's...cd's...and cookware...oh, don't get me started on that *lol*
People marvel at how the NZT drug could "expand the horizons and abilities" of one's life, how much more one can do or become...
Even after all these years of so called "evolutionary development", humans still think with and are ruled by their limbic brains more than they might realize. All this drug seems to do is just "expand the horizons and abilities" for simply more of the same "food-sex-territory" thinking. Perhaps I'm not eligible to make an opinion on this, since I haven't seen the film, though from what I have read, seen and heard, the film's main character spends all his drug-induced potential pursuing very self-centered endeavors. Very "FST" type thinking *lol* Would usage of this drug truly elevate you to a new level of existence, or is it just knocking out the walls to expand the very floor you're on?
To me, the "limitless" drug just seems like a way to expand on selfish and base thinking. I fail to see how this would be any "advancement" for humanity...most everyone I hear talking about this drug applies it's hypothetical use in ways that serve only themselves and no one else...maybe a "trickle down effect" on others in their life, at best. Does it have the POTENTIAL to serve mankind in a beneficial way? I'd imagine so, having one's brainpower so turbocharged, one might easily solve the worst problems that plague mankind...one may be able to improve more lives and reach more people in a fraction of a day, than be treated as the overwhelming task it is...But...be honest...would you really use it that way if you had the opportunity? Or would you use it exclusively as a vehicle to improving only YOUR life? How much of brain power do you use NOW towards helping other people? Just like the old myth of being "changed" as a result of having more money...Having more money does NOT "change" you, it's merely a tool that allows you the freedom to be more of who you already are. If you were an asshole before money, you now have the freedom to be even more of an asshole with it. If you're a charitable person before money, you'll be free to be even MORE so with more money. If you perceive that person as "changed", then perhaps you didn't know that person as well as you thought you did. That's on YOU, not THEM...
The film raises another thought: The problem humanity always seems to run into in most anything in life: looking OUTSIDE yourself for an answer...looking towards another person to make you feel good, an object, substance or gizmo, a belief outside yourself...relying on external feedback instead of introspection...when you have virtually all the answers already inside you, here we are wasting time looking outward chasing quick fixes, pre-packaged solutions, fantasies, seeking people to trust enough to do the thinking FOR us. When will we learn? Have any of you seen the movie "Formula 51"? That proves my point pretty well... If you haven't seen it, then watch out because I'm giving the ending away... People in THAT film experienced such tremendous highs from the drug "formula 51" that it became pretty dangerous to be seen around...Due to it's high demand, it attracted attention from dangerous people wanting in on the make. In the end, it turns out, it was a PLACEBO. All that drug did was serve as a tool to let down that person's inhibitions just enough to let out what was already inside them. The human brain has a veritable pharmacy of hormones and chemicals already present, yet we rely so heavily on external substances for just about everything...from feeling good to just making it through the day. Imagine how "limitless" our lives could really be if we could access this?
My definition of "limitless" would be the ability to transcend the constraints of ordinary human thinking...something even NZT doesn't seem to accomplish...it just seems to widen the neuropathic channels for more stimulation, more material desires, more greed. Doesn't sound like an "advancement" to me...
Friday, March 11, 2011
notoriety ma-SHEEN
The thing Sheen doesn't realize and what really blows my mind about this is that he's CONFUSING the TYPE of attention he's getting for something else...
If you're involved in an auto accident and people stop and stare, like the vapid sheeple they are...do you honestly think they're stopping to check and see if you're ok??? Do you think they've stopped because they CARE about you??? Hell no! They stopped because they're curious and clearly enjoy indulging in Schadenfreude. Once they've gotten an eyeful of the damage and realize there's clearly nothing more to see, the herd moves on. I believe that Sheen is really convinced that the people who are paying attention to him are his "true believers". But it's tragic to me that he seems truly unaware that the vast majority of these people, for the most part, are no different than any given bystander of an accident. But unlike the bystanders who are surveying the damage after the crash, the people watching Sheen right now are WAITING for the crash to happen. And unfortunately, unlike bystanders of an accident, most of these people are pointing and laughing. The conditions leading to a perfect storm of tragedy appears to be aligning, and it's causing people to gather around..even people like myself who would, under normal circumstances, not give a shit about him aside from his sitcom and Major League (if THAT). I don't even think people KNOW what they're waiting to happen, yet they follow his "news" and anticipate...But, like every 15 minutes that have ever passed, eventually people will get tired of that, they will reach their fill of his ridiculous staccato noise that HE calls his "speeches" and realize his fame has more to do with his flailing for attention than any real acting or achievement...and will, at some point realize that there's nothing more to see...and eventually move on to something else, will unfollow him on twitter, and the only attention the media will give him then would probably be posthumously. Cue the "Look back on the tragic life of..." montage.
If you're involved in an auto accident and people stop and stare, like the vapid sheeple they are...do you honestly think they're stopping to check and see if you're ok??? Do you think they've stopped because they CARE about you??? Hell no! They stopped because they're curious and clearly enjoy indulging in Schadenfreude. Once they've gotten an eyeful of the damage and realize there's clearly nothing more to see, the herd moves on. I believe that Sheen is really convinced that the people who are paying attention to him are his "true believers". But it's tragic to me that he seems truly unaware that the vast majority of these people, for the most part, are no different than any given bystander of an accident. But unlike the bystanders who are surveying the damage after the crash, the people watching Sheen right now are WAITING for the crash to happen. And unfortunately, unlike bystanders of an accident, most of these people are pointing and laughing. The conditions leading to a perfect storm of tragedy appears to be aligning, and it's causing people to gather around..even people like myself who would, under normal circumstances, not give a shit about him aside from his sitcom and Major League (if THAT). I don't even think people KNOW what they're waiting to happen, yet they follow his "news" and anticipate...But, like every 15 minutes that have ever passed, eventually people will get tired of that, they will reach their fill of his ridiculous staccato noise that HE calls his "speeches" and realize his fame has more to do with his flailing for attention than any real acting or achievement...and will, at some point realize that there's nothing more to see...and eventually move on to something else, will unfollow him on twitter, and the only attention the media will give him then would probably be posthumously. Cue the "Look back on the tragic life of..." montage.
Monday, March 7, 2011
If it doesn't matter...
It happened again. Twice this month...yet the billionth time it's happened in my life. But it pisses me off every bit as much as it ever does...
"It's JUST a QUESTION!" People say...maybe they don't mean anything by it, but I know better to understand there's usually a reason behind it, and it's usually not good...
The question: "What are you?"
Seems like an innocent question, but to me it reeks of ignorance...and there's an ironic twist to it that I'll go into in a minute...
I had a friend come to me earlier totally exasperated on how he gets so many stereotypes placed on him simply for his racial appearance. Making such assumption-based remarks as "your favorite channel must be BET" (it isn't), or that he smokes and/or sells weed (he doesn't...not that I know of anyway *lol* HE says he doesn't, that's good enough for me)...or how (even STILL) he is often met with a shocked expression when he's heard speaking and it's NOT Ebonics...He remarked on how people can assume so much about him based on his racial appearance before even knowing HIS NAME! Which, I can understand...but what I didn't understand and what really knocked me on my ass is...IN THE VERY NEXT BREATH, he asked "Hey, btw, what are you?"
Just yesterday, a facebook friend, experiencing something similar, lamented on how he's fed up on how people just assume that he's a football player before even knowing his name, based on his (racial and general) appearance...Saying "if I get asked ONE MORE time if I'm a football player before even asking me my name or major, I'm gonna lose it!!" He too turns around and asks me, "so what r u??" Of course, being the smartass I am, I responded with another question "Hey, do you play football??" >:.P
It's a complicated answer for me...I'm a crazy mix of things. So of course, people can't figure out "what" I am...They look at me like I'm a math problem. And it really gets me, how I'm asked: "WHAT are you?" Like I'm another species??
And they insist it's just "curiosity", yet they persist asking me until I give them one name of "race" or another...which I don't, I just deflect. You'd THINK because they're JUST curious, they'd DROP it, forget it and talk about something else...But no...now they want to play a game of "20(racist)questions" with me, making intrusive (sometimes hurtful)critiques about my facial features and appearance based on their "guesstimates" on "WHAT" I am, asking me about what part of the world I was born (and NO, "America" is NOT good enough an answer for them), where my parents were born, where THEIR parents were born. Um, ok, this has now become an INQUISITION. And now they're really annoyed at me at this point...Um, why??? WHAT RIGHT do they HAVE to SHAKEDOWN MY family tree??? Or cut it down and count it's rings??? And what the FUCK does it MATTER to ANYONE, especially when it doesn't matter anything to ME??? A common reply of mine is: "Family business." And they look at me confused "Family business???" And I reply "yeah, family business...If you ain't family, it's none of your business!" MAN, does THAT piss them off!!! *lol* I ask them "why does it matter?" And the common reply is "It doesn't matter, I just want to know!" and I reply "if it doesn't matter, then WHY does it matter enough for you to ask??" THEN they act like I'M the one with the problem and they storm off away angry, usually muttering "GOD, it was JUST a QUESTION!!!"... usually alongside a few OTHER choice descriptive nouns *lol*. Perhaps at times it IS meant as a harmless question, but is it really? I say no. Just because it's posed casually, I'm not fooled. People always seem to marvel at how this question annoys me so greatly... It does because we SHOULD be living in a world where such an issue should be a NON-ISSUE. It's NOT an innocent question, it really is a tool used to label and judge people. I know better than to think it's anything else but a way to figure out what "category" to file you under. Think about it...
If it doesn't matter AS MUCH AS PEOPLE SAY it doesn't, then WHY do people STILL GIVE so much of a SHIT about it???
Companies SAY they're an "equal opportunity employer", yet they turn right around with "Hey, btw, WHAT RACE ARE YOU?". I always check the box marked "other" *lol*. If race REALLY doesn't matter, then what's with people STILL seeking to compartmentalize one another??? If we're REALLY in an age where we judge on character BENEATH appearance, then why is this still matter enough for people to ask? No one should care! I don't care! People really don't realize what a rude, INTRUSIVE (and yeah kinda racist)question it is...and it's information to which the casual conversationalist is NOT privy to. I don't know what gives them the idea that they're ENTITLED to know. And in my refusal to give them an answer, they often react as if I violated their rights in some way.
This shows me that we STILL judge on race & racial appearance as much as ever...and I want no part of it. I never ask such a question to others, I do my best to keep assumptions to a minimum(but I do have my human moments! Sorry!). I never ask "what are you?" to others, because 1)IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!, 2) I don't GIVE ENOUGH of a shit to ask!! and 3)I understand how invasive it is and what racist potential it has. If you don't volunteer to share that piece of(PERSONAL)information with me, I'll never know!
The ironic twist I noticed with these two friends: they're playing right into the same compartmentalized thinking that other people are putting THEM through when they make stupid racial & stereotypical assumptions based on how they look! And what's worse is neither of them were aware of it!!! Both contradicted themselves, replying "Sure, I know, race doesn't matter...Judge the PERSON, not their skin...You think I don't know? I have it worse than you!!! You don't know how bad I have it, getting stereotyped on the way I look. At just about every turn, day in, day out...
.
.
.
"...so WHAT ARE YOU???"
*%^*&$^%*$%#*@%*$!!! (>_<)
I'm not saying I have it tougher than others, but being a mutt, it's not exactly simple either. There's a book that really helped me, I read it back in college, called "Half Asian,100% Hapa". "Hapa" is the Hawaiian word for "half". It became a derogatory term to describe Hawaiian "half-breeds". There's a minority in Hawaii that have parents of 2 origins: Hawaiian native and Asian. They suffer a surprising amount of prejudice in the native Hawaii in which they were born, and as a result, they feel adrift in their racial identity, both Hawaiian and Asian, yet at the same time identifying with neither (understandably so as many felt rejection from both sides). Within the book's accounts of "Hapa" people, in the face of their rejection and treatment (some of which was downright cruel), lie encouragement and in a small way, triumph. The "hapa" have since come to embraced the name, forging an identity of their own within it...and now it's no longer a derogatory term, but a name in which many today take pride in. It's a name that's transcended beyond Hawaiian/Asians and is a name used by other "mutts" of different origins. Though I do realize they're putting a label on themselves in the process...
I wonder if people have an unconscious, intrinsic fear of "half breeds". That if they're too numerous, there'll be a population crisis within the "pure" races. I've actually seen this question posed many times on tv. Back when Tyra Banks had a talk show, they were fearfully discussing how the population of "black" people are actually declining...By a small percentage, but it was enough to project a trend...and the overwhelming majority in the audience were all flustered at the news, blaming this negative trend on "black" men preferring to date "white" women instead of their own "race", and how this problem must be remedied by "sticking with your own race". Wow, really? If this were a "white" people's talk show, they'd be yanked off the air before the next commercial break!
Am I saying that I'm ashamed of my heritage (whatever it is)?? No...I'm just saying that I believe putting it at the forefront of one's identity is unhealthy and it fuels the fire of yet more stereotypical, judgemental thinking. Staking too much of your identity in your "race" is what leads to the ridiculous thinking of "breeding with your own kind" and the fear that results from the presence of too many "Hapas" and how they somehow threaten your identity and water down your "purity" and your "culture". I'm proud of my mixed heritage, but I will NEVER put it ahead of myself or use it to define who I am. I'd rather not put stake in any of it and am happy to remain racially ambiguous. That might not work for you, but it works for me...It's a decision to OPT OUT of a vicious cycle that we're STILL in the grips of even after the legacy of Dr. King. Sadly, I believe the legacy is really just the "belief" we've overcome this type of thinking...while we have advanced to some degree, I still think we're just as discriminatory as ever...people are just much more discreet with it...So discreet with it, the person themself may not even be aware, so of course they assume nothing when asking "WHAT are you??"
Maybe I'm defective in not seeing people as PEOPLE BEFORE color...Making my best conclusion on my impressions of the person instead of assumptions based on their appearance alone. I know it sure SEEMS that way sometimes...at times it feels like maybe I REALLY AM the one with the problem and should just start thinking in labels like everyone else...
Coincidentally, I just watched the movie "A Bronx tale". A story about a father & son in an Italian neighborhood, and the racial friction between the Italians and the resident "Black" people. A group of junior thugs spotted a black dude riding his bicycle down the street and they just suddenly decided to throw him off his bike and beat on him...just because he was black. They said such horrible things about blacks in different parts of the movie and while this one was getting beat...Names like "stupid", "savage", "ugly"...little do they realize they're living examples of the names they're calling THEM by senselessly beating on him. How quickly did the Italians forget the prejudice THEY suffered when they first emigrated here by the other "races" that beat them here by only a few decades. Way to pay it forward! That's something about racism I don't understand. People have these preconcieved notions about people of another race: "Black people steal", "Mexicans are lazy", "White people are discriminatory"...That's not how I see it...Those kinds of remarks imply a superiority over another. But theft, laziness, prejudice...they're ALL HUMAN errors...ESPECIALLY stupidity.
So...What "race" am I? I'm "HUMAN", that SHOULD be all that should matter...
...Though, in light of what I just wrote, I correct myself...maybe I AM ashamed of my "RACE" after ALL...
"It's JUST a QUESTION!" People say...maybe they don't mean anything by it, but I know better to understand there's usually a reason behind it, and it's usually not good...
The question: "What are you?"
Seems like an innocent question, but to me it reeks of ignorance...and there's an ironic twist to it that I'll go into in a minute...
I had a friend come to me earlier totally exasperated on how he gets so many stereotypes placed on him simply for his racial appearance. Making such assumption-based remarks as "your favorite channel must be BET" (it isn't), or that he smokes and/or sells weed (he doesn't...not that I know of anyway *lol* HE says he doesn't, that's good enough for me)...or how (even STILL) he is often met with a shocked expression when he's heard speaking and it's NOT Ebonics...He remarked on how people can assume so much about him based on his racial appearance before even knowing HIS NAME! Which, I can understand...but what I didn't understand and what really knocked me on my ass is...IN THE VERY NEXT BREATH, he asked "Hey, btw, what are you?"
Just yesterday, a facebook friend, experiencing something similar, lamented on how he's fed up on how people just assume that he's a football player before even knowing his name, based on his (racial and general) appearance...Saying "if I get asked ONE MORE time if I'm a football player before even asking me my name or major, I'm gonna lose it!!" He too turns around and asks me, "so what r u??" Of course, being the smartass I am, I responded with another question "Hey, do you play football??" >:.P
It's a complicated answer for me...I'm a crazy mix of things. So of course, people can't figure out "what" I am...They look at me like I'm a math problem. And it really gets me, how I'm asked: "WHAT are you?" Like I'm another species??
And they insist it's just "curiosity", yet they persist asking me until I give them one name of "race" or another...which I don't, I just deflect. You'd THINK because they're JUST curious, they'd DROP it, forget it and talk about something else...But no...now they want to play a game of "20(racist)questions" with me, making intrusive (sometimes hurtful)critiques about my facial features and appearance based on their "guesstimates" on "WHAT" I am, asking me about what part of the world I was born (and NO, "America" is NOT good enough an answer for them), where my parents were born, where THEIR parents were born. Um, ok, this has now become an INQUISITION. And now they're really annoyed at me at this point...Um, why??? WHAT RIGHT do they HAVE to SHAKEDOWN MY family tree??? Or cut it down and count it's rings??? And what the FUCK does it MATTER to ANYONE, especially when it doesn't matter anything to ME??? A common reply of mine is: "Family business." And they look at me confused "Family business???" And I reply "yeah, family business...If you ain't family, it's none of your business!" MAN, does THAT piss them off!!! *lol* I ask them "why does it matter?" And the common reply is "It doesn't matter, I just want to know!" and I reply "if it doesn't matter, then WHY does it matter enough for you to ask??" THEN they act like I'M the one with the problem and they storm off away angry, usually muttering "GOD, it was JUST a QUESTION!!!"... usually alongside a few OTHER choice descriptive nouns *lol*. Perhaps at times it IS meant as a harmless question, but is it really? I say no. Just because it's posed casually, I'm not fooled. People always seem to marvel at how this question annoys me so greatly... It does because we SHOULD be living in a world where such an issue should be a NON-ISSUE. It's NOT an innocent question, it really is a tool used to label and judge people. I know better than to think it's anything else but a way to figure out what "category" to file you under. Think about it...
If it doesn't matter AS MUCH AS PEOPLE SAY it doesn't, then WHY do people STILL GIVE so much of a SHIT about it???
Companies SAY they're an "equal opportunity employer", yet they turn right around with "Hey, btw, WHAT RACE ARE YOU?". I always check the box marked "other" *lol*. If race REALLY doesn't matter, then what's with people STILL seeking to compartmentalize one another??? If we're REALLY in an age where we judge on character BENEATH appearance, then why is this still matter enough for people to ask? No one should care! I don't care! People really don't realize what a rude, INTRUSIVE (and yeah kinda racist)question it is...and it's information to which the casual conversationalist is NOT privy to. I don't know what gives them the idea that they're ENTITLED to know. And in my refusal to give them an answer, they often react as if I violated their rights in some way.
This shows me that we STILL judge on race & racial appearance as much as ever...and I want no part of it. I never ask such a question to others, I do my best to keep assumptions to a minimum(but I do have my human moments! Sorry!). I never ask "what are you?" to others, because 1)IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!, 2) I don't GIVE ENOUGH of a shit to ask!! and 3)I understand how invasive it is and what racist potential it has. If you don't volunteer to share that piece of(PERSONAL)information with me, I'll never know!
The ironic twist I noticed with these two friends: they're playing right into the same compartmentalized thinking that other people are putting THEM through when they make stupid racial & stereotypical assumptions based on how they look! And what's worse is neither of them were aware of it!!! Both contradicted themselves, replying "Sure, I know, race doesn't matter...Judge the PERSON, not their skin...You think I don't know? I have it worse than you!!! You don't know how bad I have it, getting stereotyped on the way I look. At just about every turn, day in, day out...
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"...so WHAT ARE YOU???"
*%^*&$^%*$%#*@%*$!!! (>_<)
I'm not saying I have it tougher than others, but being a mutt, it's not exactly simple either. There's a book that really helped me, I read it back in college, called "Half Asian,100% Hapa". "Hapa" is the Hawaiian word for "half". It became a derogatory term to describe Hawaiian "half-breeds". There's a minority in Hawaii that have parents of 2 origins: Hawaiian native and Asian. They suffer a surprising amount of prejudice in the native Hawaii in which they were born, and as a result, they feel adrift in their racial identity, both Hawaiian and Asian, yet at the same time identifying with neither (understandably so as many felt rejection from both sides). Within the book's accounts of "Hapa" people, in the face of their rejection and treatment (some of which was downright cruel), lie encouragement and in a small way, triumph. The "hapa" have since come to embraced the name, forging an identity of their own within it...and now it's no longer a derogatory term, but a name in which many today take pride in. It's a name that's transcended beyond Hawaiian/Asians and is a name used by other "mutts" of different origins. Though I do realize they're putting a label on themselves in the process...
I wonder if people have an unconscious, intrinsic fear of "half breeds". That if they're too numerous, there'll be a population crisis within the "pure" races. I've actually seen this question posed many times on tv. Back when Tyra Banks had a talk show, they were fearfully discussing how the population of "black" people are actually declining...By a small percentage, but it was enough to project a trend...and the overwhelming majority in the audience were all flustered at the news, blaming this negative trend on "black" men preferring to date "white" women instead of their own "race", and how this problem must be remedied by "sticking with your own race". Wow, really? If this were a "white" people's talk show, they'd be yanked off the air before the next commercial break!
Am I saying that I'm ashamed of my heritage (whatever it is)?? No...I'm just saying that I believe putting it at the forefront of one's identity is unhealthy and it fuels the fire of yet more stereotypical, judgemental thinking. Staking too much of your identity in your "race" is what leads to the ridiculous thinking of "breeding with your own kind" and the fear that results from the presence of too many "Hapas" and how they somehow threaten your identity and water down your "purity" and your "culture". I'm proud of my mixed heritage, but I will NEVER put it ahead of myself or use it to define who I am. I'd rather not put stake in any of it and am happy to remain racially ambiguous. That might not work for you, but it works for me...It's a decision to OPT OUT of a vicious cycle that we're STILL in the grips of even after the legacy of Dr. King. Sadly, I believe the legacy is really just the "belief" we've overcome this type of thinking...while we have advanced to some degree, I still think we're just as discriminatory as ever...people are just much more discreet with it...So discreet with it, the person themself may not even be aware, so of course they assume nothing when asking "WHAT are you??"
Maybe I'm defective in not seeing people as PEOPLE BEFORE color...Making my best conclusion on my impressions of the person instead of assumptions based on their appearance alone. I know it sure SEEMS that way sometimes...at times it feels like maybe I REALLY AM the one with the problem and should just start thinking in labels like everyone else...
Coincidentally, I just watched the movie "A Bronx tale". A story about a father & son in an Italian neighborhood, and the racial friction between the Italians and the resident "Black" people. A group of junior thugs spotted a black dude riding his bicycle down the street and they just suddenly decided to throw him off his bike and beat on him...just because he was black. They said such horrible things about blacks in different parts of the movie and while this one was getting beat...Names like "stupid", "savage", "ugly"...little do they realize they're living examples of the names they're calling THEM by senselessly beating on him. How quickly did the Italians forget the prejudice THEY suffered when they first emigrated here by the other "races" that beat them here by only a few decades. Way to pay it forward! That's something about racism I don't understand. People have these preconcieved notions about people of another race: "Black people steal", "Mexicans are lazy", "White people are discriminatory"...That's not how I see it...Those kinds of remarks imply a superiority over another. But theft, laziness, prejudice...they're ALL HUMAN errors...ESPECIALLY stupidity.
So...What "race" am I? I'm "HUMAN", that SHOULD be all that should matter...
...Though, in light of what I just wrote, I correct myself...maybe I AM ashamed of my "RACE" after ALL...
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